Highway Regret | 04.25.19

It will haunt you always, all the ‘what ifs’ and ‘should haves’, the knowing that you could have helped but still chose to walk away.

You were driving on your way back and suddenly; it feels like you’re inside a dream. Everything was in slow motion. You can see all the little details of what is happening – the brake lights, the skidding of the car, the collision and both cars breaking into pieces, a man trying to get out of their car, the guy that didn’t second guess and run to help and all those other cars passing by. Your world stood still, and the sound of a car horn meant for you woke you up from the trance you were in.

You thought once, twice, thrice, heck, even more. You thought of what you should do. Should you stop just like that guy? Should you call for help? What’s the right thing to do? Cars honking again, passing you by. If you could only stop thinking and just get off the car. In the end, you only did what is convenient for you, just like the others, you continued driving and passed them by.

It will haunt you always, all the ‘what ifs’ and ‘should haves’, the knowing that you could have helped but still chose to walk away. It will haunt you as you wonder if everyone’s okay and if someone did call for help.

All that talk of dreams to help other people… they’re all just that – all talk without action. And in choosing not to help, you realized that you’re a coward. You’re a coward and you’re selfish. You only help others if you’ll gain something from it.

You can’t undo anything. You can’t go back and change what happened. You can’t turn your car around now. But I hope you learn from it. You’ll regret not doing anything this time but if something arises again and a help is needed, please don’t do the same thing, don’t be that someone again. Don’t hesitate anymore. Choose to be a good person and take action.


I can only pray for them now, please be okay.
And I’m sorry that I didn’t help.

WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE ANYWAY

a reminder to self.

 

Why do we have the need

to meet other’s expectation of us?

Screw that.

Challenge yourself.

Expect yourself to do the best.

But not for anyone.

Never.

 

Why not do what you want?

Why bother with what they think?

If you’re not hurting anyone intentionally,

then it’s all good.

 

Criticisms will always be there.

People will always have something to say.

Let them, if that’s what makes them happy,

If that’s the life that they chose for themselves,

let them.

It’s not your business anyways.

 

Loved ones stopping you from what you want to do?

Screw that, too.

You love them, yes,

But you are not obliged to do what they want.

If they love you too,

They’ll support you and not cage you.

 

Again, if you’re not hurting anybody intentionally,

If you’re still trying to be a good person,

then it’s all good.

 

But to be a good person doesn’t mean to succumb to anyone.

 

Live your life.

Regrets from doing something

rather than not doing anything

can be quite tormenting.

 

So do it.

Cast away your inhibitions.

 

After all,

we’re all gonna die anyway.

 


a little something to remind myself. Yes, i’m writing this for myself, and to, maybe, inspire others, but mostly to remind myself.

Hey, You.

Yes, you.

You with the sad eyes.

Hey.

Yes, you.

You with the sad eyes.

How are you?

How’s your heart? Are you feeling like you’ll never be happy or content with life? That you’re only surviving and living but not truly alive? Even when you’re with your family, with your friends or with your loved ones, do you still feel alone?

I think we all feel that way – at some point in our lives if not all the time. Dull and numb and full of feelings all at the same time. What a contradiction human beings are.

You are probably tired of people telling you that ‘everything’s gonna be okay in the end’, ‘think positive’ or ‘don’t worry about it’, words that often make it worse. Do you find it funny and appalling, too, when people tell you that? But I guess we can’t really resent them, for I, myself, am not sure of the right words to say, too.


You don’t have to stop yourself from feeling. You don’t have to stop yourself from letting the sadness in, from letting yourself feel some darkness, from letting some of the shadows accompany you.. perhaps facing them is how you’ll get through it.

Acknowledge their presence. Understand that they’re here, that they are a part of you, that you avoiding them would only result in you not being able to move forward.

Feel.

Let your feelings flow.

Let your heart get tired, get numb.

Let it consume you — for that time being only.

Feel.

Then, unknowingly, your heart will start to let happiness in, litte by little.

And as uncertain as we are about the ‘when‘ and ‘how‘, just know that there is someone here cheering you on. We’ll make it through.

You’ll make it through.