I’m The One I Should Love

I know I’m not lacking, but you make me feel that I am.

Relationships. Having a partner. Settling down.

For as long as I can remember, that’s all I’ve ever heard. From family, to friends, to acquaintances, it’s always the same, it’s all they ever ask. I guess at 25, that’s what people expect of you.

And I am getting tired of all these questions. Is that all you can think when we talk? Is that all that you can see when you look at me? Does my face screams ‘I need someone, I’m incomplete.’?

“Do you like someone?” you asked. “You should go out, meet people.” you proposed. “We’ll find someone for you.’ you pushed. As if looking for someone should be my top priority. As if being by myself is not enough. As if doing what I want to do and working on my dreams is insignificant.

Surely, if I’m being honest, there are times when I wonder if I will ever have that someone by my side, too. Because let’s face it, who doesn’t want to feel love? Who doesn’t want to be loved? No one.

But every time I make an effort for myself, you think it’s for someone else. You think that that’s what I want right now, that that’s what I need, but telling me all these only result in making me feel worse about myself. I know I’m not lacking, but you make me feel that I am.

Don’t look at me like there’s something wrong with me. I’m not incomplete. I’m not broken. And I am done letting you define me for one thing only. Who I am now is enough. I am enough.

And when that time comes when I would finally meet that someone, I would make sure that the choice to be with him is because I wanted to and not because somebody forced me to.

And right now, I’m the one I should love.


Featured image from Unsplash.

Published on Thought Catalog and Unwritten.

WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE ANYWAY

a reminder to self.

 

Why do we have the need

to meet other’s expectation of us?

Screw that.

Challenge yourself.

Expect yourself to do the best.

But not for anyone.

Never.

 

Why not do what you want?

Why bother with what they think?

If you’re not hurting anyone intentionally,

then it’s all good.

 

Criticisms will always be there.

People will always have something to say.

Let them, if that’s what makes them happy,

If that’s the life that they chose for themselves,

let them.

It’s not your business anyways.

 

Loved ones stopping you from what you want to do?

Screw that, too.

You love them, yes,

But you are not obliged to do what they want.

If they love you too,

They’ll support you and not cage you.

 

Again, if you’re not hurting anybody intentionally,

If you’re still trying to be a good person,

then it’s all good.

 

But to be a good person doesn’t mean to succumb to anyone.

 

Live your life.

Regrets from doing something

rather than not doing anything

can be quite tormenting.

 

So do it.

Cast away your inhibitions.

 

After all,

we’re all gonna die anyway.

 


a little something to remind myself. Yes, i’m writing this for myself, and to, maybe, inspire others, but mostly to remind myself.

Manifest Your Heart’s Desires

“I recommend that you read The Alchemist.”

“I recommend that you read the Alchemist.”

– Growing Up by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis

We attract what we think. You might have heard and seen this often and not really pay too much attention. You might be skeptical, too, just like how I was, but there is truth in this statement.

I am slowly learning and relearning that everything begins with our thoughts. Try to think of the things that you want to happen, things that you want to achieve. Try to envision it, it will be hard at first, especially if you are so used in expecting and experiencing unfortunate events happen to you, but just try.

There is one Oprah interview of Jim Carrey where he told the story of how he wrote a 10-million-dollar check to himself when he had nothing yet. He did it just to lift himself up. He kept that note in his wallet for years and years and on the same year that he dated the check with, he did make $10 million for a movie that he starred in!

It may not sound as simple as it really is, but what started as a visualization of things to only make himself feel better later became a reality. And if someone did it by starting with a single thought, then so can we!

Our minds are powerful. It can lead us to bigger and greater things if we only start to believe in it.

It’s not going to be easy. It will be a process. It might take years to reach something. And yes, we won’t always be in that calm, happy and good state, because that’s how life works, and there is always going to be a day, or weeks, in which you may think that it’s not working. You may feel that everything is still the same and you are just going in circles, but I believe that if we are aware of it means that we are still on the right track.

Don’t let go of the vision on where you want to be, on what you want to feel.

Same goes with our dreams, our Personal Legend, the things that we are passionate about, the things that we love to do, the things that give us a sense of purpose. Perhaps the Universe is just waiting for our move, beginning with our minds, so that it can do its part in helping us manifest what it is that we truly desire.

Think It. Claim It. Work on It. Reach it.

Praying that we can all manage to continue hoping.
To continue living.


*Listen to Macklemore’s Growing Up. Read Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist. Reread it. If you feel lost, read it again. Go for your Personal Legend. Still cheering for all of us.

Coffee And City Lights

a Last Night movie inspired poem.

Swaying to our last dance,

Wishing we could meet again.

Make the most of our last chance,

Hoping it’ll keep me sane.

 

Beautiful, you look beautiful

Don’t look down, let me stare,

 Eyes twinkling like the city lights,

Let the moon be in awe, just stay


Will this be our Last Night,

Last Night to see that smile?

‘Til we’re no longer feeling,

‘Til we’re no longer breathing.


Will you stay here with me?

Will you hold my hand, dear?

Until we drift away

With the waves beneath.

 


 

A Last Night movie inspired poem.